press conference. backstage.

We are all familiar with regular press conference's look & feel. Well, at least most of us. It usually starts with you being picked by a cab driver from your home at the exact hour that was set and being droven to a nice place - conference hall or a restaurant. You arrive, exit the cab, look around, put on your best semi-content sceptical face and enter the building. Right at the door you meet a smiling neatly dressed PR-manager lady that greets you, welcomes you in, asks if the way was ok, the cab was on time and the sun was shining from that exact angle that makes your cheekbones look sexy. THe rest of the time you spend eating, drinking and chatting with your newly arrived collegues. When the lunch and the mingling are over, you seat back and absorb the presentation, which actually is the real reason for all the event. At that point, depends on the occasion you may fall asleep, send txt messages to your dogs, draw flowers in your worksheet - you can do whatever as long as you put on your "oh-my-God-its-so-boring-i-can-die-right-now" look. At some happy moment (usually after 40-60 mins) its all over so that you can munch some more sweets, have a coffee and receive your nice give-away (gift). Happy, happy, joy, joy - its about time to go to your publishing offices or back home and back to work. Taxi!! 

That's if you are a journalist. 

Now this is how it looks of you are a PR-director.

For these spiecies the event starts two months before an actual press-conference on a client-PR meeting. A client is decided that he wants to expose his latest maneuvr to the press. Of course the excitement shines through the happy client because its obviousely the most brilliant marketing step his company has ever done before and the destiny of the humanity depends on it whether it's a presentaiton of a new revolutionary light-drink taste made from happy bananas that only happy farmers have grown or it can also be an exposion of the new controversial re-branding - now a company's logo includes not only blue and red colors, but a thin silver stripe in the middle. Now nothing will be the same. A silver lining that changes the history. Of course people wont forgive the company if it doesnt share such a grandiose invention with everybody. 

At that point they (the marketing directors group at the client's) get a firm faith in the importance of the event and are perfectly sure that even if they hold the event on a park bench and guests were requested to sit on burning charcoal - they would have. Its worth it.  

Here comes the PR-manager's part In order to ensure a long-term survival he needs to be absolutely politically correct (as in every other point actually) and perform the "there is no santa-claus" thing for the client, but without hurting his feelngs and his baby-product esteem. "this marketing move is genius, but we need to stick to the strategy", "journalists dont owe you a thing and you have to nurse them gently and warmly".

AFter hours of insult, misunderstanding, argument and whatsoever you, as a PR manager succeed to get the client sign the order for the nicest restaurant you could find, the best food you could get and for the best give-away presents so that the journalists are content. First class flight. All set. Now just need them to show up.

Here comes another trick or treat thing for a PR manager. Inviting the journalists. Each one is unique. Each one demands its' very unique appoach - one wants to hear that there is going to be a tasty lunch, another one wont show up without a tempting presents promise and one or two (most ideological ones) will be insulted to hear those things. If you miss the essence - say bye bye to your career. 

At some point all the phone calls are done, all the promises were made, all strings pushed. The day of the event you show up at the restaurant with your most fancy dress, great hair comb and very pale face. The client wants to see the payback for his efforts in the amount of the guests. Then first journalist calls to tell you that he is locked at the appartment without spare keys and cant go out. You hold yourself from semi-trailer's curses and express your deepest empathy. The time is up - noone is at the door. You swear to quit your job and hang each and every person that didnt show up to your press conference. Another ten minutes pass. You put on your - oh-my-god-everything-is-so-great smile and assure a client tthat everybody will show up at the next few mins. 

You imagine how your life will look like on a deserted island with no clients or journalists. You love your life there. You can smell the coconut and the natives who will maybe give you a massage for ten pears from your today's necklace. 

Then when you are almost reasy for a grandiose fiasco - two journalists show up walking together. 

The warm feeling of deep affection you sense at the moment cant be described. It's an extasy. Climax. You LOVE them. They are your best true and only friends and family. THey showed up! TWO!! YESS!! Oh God - I knew you love me!! 

You almost run towards them, welcome them in, ask about the way and offer them to drink, eat and relax...now you know everything will be ok, now you have only twenty more to arrive. Then you will drink your first glass of water. No food. No seat. Just smile and wave :)))